Last Updated on January 17, 2026 by Lila Sjöberg
Every parenting book mentions the magic of bedtime routines, but nobody tells you that building one with a real baby — who has opinions and bad days and growth spurts — is messier than the theory suggests. I tried three different routines before finding one that worked, and even then, it evolved as my baby grew.
Key Takeaways
A good bedtime routine is consistent, calming, and cues your baby that sleep is coming. It doesn’t need to be elaborate — fifteen to thirty minutes of the same activities in the same order every night builds the association. Start early, stay flexible, and expect adjustments as baby develops.
The Short Answer: Build a bedtime routine with three to five calming activities in a consistent order, starting at the same time each night. Bath, feeding, books, and songs are classic elements, but what matters most is repetition and a calm environment.
Here’s how to create a routine that actually works for your family.
Why Routines Matter for Baby Sleep
Babies can’t read clocks, but they learn patterns. A consistent sequence of events signals to their brain that sleep is approaching, triggering the release of melatonin and helping them wind down. Without these cues, babies don’t know bedtime is coming until you’re putting them in the crib — by which point they might be overtired or not mentally ready to sleep.
Routines also provide predictability in an unpredictable world. Babies feel secure when they know what comes next. This security can make the transition to sleep easier because baby isn’t anxious about what’s happening.
The magic isn’t in any specific activity but in the consistency. Bath time works because it happens every night, not because water has special sleep-inducing properties. Whatever activities you choose, doing them in the same order at the same time is what creates the sleep association.
Building Your Routine Step by Step
Start by choosing a consistent bedtime based on your baby’s age and natural sleepy cues. Newborns might not have a set bedtime yet, but by three to four months, most babies are ready for a more regular schedule. Watch for signs of tiredness around the same time each evening and use that as your anchor point.
Work backward from bedtime to determine when to start the routine. If bedtime is 7 PM and your routine takes thirty minutes, start at 6:30. Keep the routine short enough to maintain baby’s attention but long enough to effectively wind down — usually fifteen to thirty minutes works well.
Choose activities that naturally calm your baby. Bath time works for many families — the warm water relaxes muscles and signals a transition. A gentle massage with lotion extends the calming effect. Changing into pajamas provides a physical cue that the day is ending.
Feeding is often part of the bedtime routine, but try to keep baby slightly awake during the feed so they don’t associate falling asleep exclusively with eating. This helps them learn to fall asleep independently over time.
End with something soothing and stationary — books, songs, or quiet cuddles in the dim nursery. This final activity happens in the sleep environment, transitioning baby from the routine into the crib. Make sure your sleep setup follows safety guidelines.
What to Include (And What to Skip)
Good routine elements are calming, repeatable, and don’t require much equipment or setup. Bath, lotion massage, pajamas, feeding, and one or two short books or songs are plenty. You don’t need elaborate activities or multiple steps — simplicity makes consistency easier.
Skip anything stimulating or exciting. Roughhousing, tickling, screens, bright lights, or active play undo the calming you’re trying to achieve. Save energetic activities for earlier in the day.
Avoid activities you can’t do consistently. If bath time isn’t possible every night, make it an occasional addition rather than a core part of the routine. The elements you choose should be things you can realistically do every single night, including when traveling or tired.
Our complete sleep training guide offers more detail on establishing healthy sleep habits beyond just the bedtime routine.
Handling the Inevitable Disruptions
No routine survives contact with real life without some bumps. Travel, illness, visitors, teething, developmental leaps — all of these can throw off your carefully established pattern. This is normal, not a failure.
When disruptions happen, maintain as much of the routine as possible. Can’t do bath? Keep the pajamas, book, and song. Traveling? Bring the sleep sack and a familiar book. The more elements you preserve, the more baby recognizes the sleep cues despite the changed environment.
After a disruption, return to the full routine immediately. Don’t assume baby has “unlearned” everything — sleep associations are resilient. A few nights back on track usually restores the pattern.
Growth spurts and developmental leaps can temporarily make bedtime harder even with a good routine. During these phases, offer extra comfort while maintaining the routine structure. The consistency helps baby return to normal sleep once the leap passes.
Adjusting as Baby Grows
A routine that works for a four-month-old won’t necessarily work for a one-year-old. Expect to modify your approach as baby develops, while keeping the core principle of consistent, calming activities.
Older babies and toddlers can participate more actively — choosing which book to read, putting on their own pajamas, or singing along with songs. This engagement helps them feel ownership over the routine rather than it being something done to them.
You may need to adjust bedtime as baby’s sleep needs change. Younger babies often do well with earlier bedtimes, while older toddlers might shift later. Watch for signs that the current bedtime isn’t working — fighting sleep, early morning waking, or difficulty settling.
Eventually, you’ll phase out elements that become unnecessary. The feeding portion often goes first as baby weans from nighttime feeds. The routine evolves, but its purpose — signaling sleep is coming — remains constant.
Frequently Asked Questions
When should I start a bedtime routine?
You can start gentle routines from birth, but they become more meaningful around two to three months when baby’s circadian rhythm begins developing. By four months, a consistent routine significantly helps with sleep.
How long should the routine take?
Fifteen to thirty minutes is typical for babies and young toddlers. Shorter routines may not provide enough wind-down time; longer routines can lose baby’s attention or push bedtime too late.
What if my baby cries during the routine?
Some fussiness is normal, especially when baby is tired. Stay calm, keep the routine moving, and offer comfort. If crying is excessive every night, your routine timing might be off — baby could be overtired or not tired enough.
Should both parents do the bedtime routine the same way?
Ideally, yes — consistency helps baby regardless of who’s putting them to bed. But perfect replication isn’t necessary. The same general elements in the same general order provides enough consistency even with slight variations between caregivers.
What if my routine isn’t working?
Give any routine at least two weeks of consistent use before judging effectiveness. If baby still struggles after that, evaluate whether you’re starting at the right time (before overtiredness), whether the environment is calm enough, and whether the routine length is appropriate. Small tweaks often solve issues.
Building a bedtime routine takes patience and experimentation, but the payoff — a baby who knows sleep is coming and transitions more peacefully — is worth the effort. Start simple, stay consistent, and adjust as you learn what your particular baby needs.
Sweet dreams are closer than you think…maybe! 😅
Lila.
