Last Updated on January 17, 2026 by Lila Sjöberg
Feeding a newborn is supposed to be natural, right? Then why is your nipple cracked and bleeding, or why does baby scream every time you bring the bottle near, or why are you spending twenty minutes getting baby to latch only to have them pop off crying? Feeding struggles are incredibly common and incredibly isolating when you’re living them.
Key Takeaways
Feeding problems are common and usually solvable with the right support. Pain during breastfeeding isn’t normal and indicates something needs adjustment. Bottle refusal, slow weight gain, and constant fussiness during feeds all have potential solutions. The most important step is asking for help early rather than struggling alone.
The Short Answer: Most newborn feeding problems relate to latch issues, flow rate problems, or underlying conditions like tongue tie or reflux. Early intervention from lactation consultants or pediatricians resolves most issues. Pain is a signal something needs to change, not something to push through.
Here’s what might be going wrong and what actually helps.
Breastfeeding Pain: This Shouldn’t Hurt
Some tenderness in the first week is common as your nipples adjust. But actual pain — cracking, bleeding, toe-curling agony during feeds — indicates a problem that needs solving, not enduring.
Most breastfeeding pain comes from latch issues. Having the right breastfeeding supplies helps, but technique matters more. When baby doesn’t take enough breast tissue into their mouth, they clamp down on just the nipple, causing damage. A good latch feels like a strong pull, not sharp pain. Baby’s mouth should be wide open with flanged lips, taking in areola, not just nipple.
A lactation consultant can observe a feed and identify what’s going wrong. Often small adjustments to positioning or technique make a dramatic difference. This isn’t something you should figure out alone through trial and error when help is available.
Tongue tie — where the tissue under baby’s tongue restricts movement — causes latch problems that feel mysterious until diagnosed. Babies with tongue tie often can’t stick their tongue out past their gums or lift it to the roof of their mouth. A simple procedure can release the tie, often improving feeding immediately.
Our feeding essentials guide covers gear that supports more comfortable feeding.
Low Milk Supply: Real Versus Perceived
Many mothers worry about milk supply when their supply is actually fine. Babies cluster feeding, crying at the breast, or wanting to eat constantly can all seem like signs of low supply but are often normal newborn behavior.
Real indicators of low supply are poor weight gain and inadequate wet/dirty diapers. If baby is gaining weight and producing enough output, supply isn’t the problem — even if they seem hungry all the time or feeds feel constant.
If supply truly is low, increasing demand usually increases supply. Nurse more frequently, pump after feeds, and ensure baby is transferring milk effectively (back to that latch). Skin-to-skin time and staying well-hydrated support supply too.
Some conditions genuinely affect supply — insufficient glandular tissue, hormonal issues, or previous breast surgery. If you’ve addressed all the usual factors and supply remains low, supplementing with formula or donor milk while continuing to nurse is a valid approach.
Bottle Refusal: When Baby Won’t Take It
Some breastfed babies resist bottles entirely, which becomes a crisis when mom needs to return to work or wants a break. Bottle refusal is frustrating but usually solvable with patience and strategy.
Try different nipple shapes and flow rates — babies can be surprisingly particular. Our complete bottle feeding guide explains flow rates and bottle selection in detail. What worked for your friend’s baby might be completely wrong for yours. Slow-flow nipples most closely mimic breast flow and often work better for breastfed babies.
Have someone other than mom offer the bottle. Babies smell their mother and expect the breast. They may accept a bottle more readily from dad, grandma, or another caregiver when mom isn’t present.
Timing matters too. Don’t wait until baby is frantically hungry — they’ll be too upset to try something new. But don’t offer when they’re completely full either. A slightly hungry but calm baby is most likely to experiment.
If baby truly refuses bottles, cup feeding, syringe feeding, or spoon feeding are alternatives for daycare situations. It’s not ideal, but some babies never take bottles and still thrive.
Reflux and Spit-Up: When Feeding Causes Pain
All babies spit up sometimes, but reflux — where stomach acid comes back up and irritates the esophagus — causes pain during and after feeding. Babies with reflux often arch their backs, scream during feeds, and seem miserable lying flat.
If you suspect reflux, talk to your pediatrician. Mild cases improve with feeding modifications: smaller, more frequent feeds, keeping baby upright for twenty to thirty minutes after eating, and elevating the head of the sleep surface slightly during supervised rest.
More significant reflux may need medication to reduce stomach acid. Some babies also respond to formula changes or maternal dietary modifications if breastfeeding. Don’t suffer through screaming feeds assuming it’s normal — reflux is treatable.
Slow Weight Gain: When Baby Isn’t Thriving
Weight gain is monitored closely in the early weeks because it indicates whether baby is eating enough. Most newborns lose up to ten percent of birth weight initially, then regain it by two weeks. After that, steady gain of about five to seven ounces per week is expected.
If weight gain is slow, the first question is whether baby is eating enough. This might mean more frequent feeds, longer feeds, or supplements if transfer is ineffective. A weighted feed — weighing baby before and after nursing — shows exactly how much milk baby is taking.
Poor weight gain isn’t always about feeding volume. Some babies burn extra calories due to heart conditions, metabolic issues, or other medical concerns. Your pediatrician will evaluate whether feeding changes alone can solve the problem or whether further investigation is needed.
Our newborn essentials checklist includes feeding supplies that support both breast and bottle feeding.
When to Get Help
Don’t wait until you’re desperate to seek support. Lactation consultants exist specifically to help with breastfeeding challenges, and most issues are easier to fix early. Many hospitals offer free follow-up appointments; private consultants are also available.
Call your pediatrician if baby shows signs of dehydration (few wet diapers, lethargy, sunken fontanelle), refuses to feed entirely, or has significant weight loss. These are urgent concerns, not things to wait out.
Postpartum support groups, both in-person and online, connect you with other parents facing similar challenges. Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone — and hearing how others solved their struggles — provides both practical advice and emotional relief.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if my baby is getting enough milk?
Track diapers and weight. By day five, expect at least six wet diapers and three to four dirty diapers daily. Steady weight gain after the first two weeks confirms adequate intake. Feeding frequency and duration vary widely and aren’t reliable indicators on their own.
Is it normal for breastfeeding to hurt?
Mild tenderness in the first week can be normal, but significant pain isn’t. If nursing makes you dread feeds or causes visible nipple damage, something needs to change. Pain usually indicates latch problems that can be fixed with proper support.
Should I supplement with formula?
That depends on your situation and goals. If baby isn’t gaining weight adequately despite feeding support, supplementation might be medically necessary. If supply is fine but you want flexibility, supplementing is a personal choice. Fed is fed — formula isn’t failure.
How long do feeding struggles usually last?
With appropriate intervention, most issues improve within days to weeks. Latch problems often resolve once identified and corrected. Reflux may take longer to manage but responds to treatment. Persistence of problems without improvement suggests the need for additional support or evaluation.
Can I switch from breast to bottle or vice versa?
Yes, in both directions. Babies can learn new feeding methods at any point. Some breastfed babies take time adjusting to bottles; some formula-fed babies can return to breast with support. Feeding method isn’t usually permanent unless you want it to be.
Feeding your baby should eventually feel manageable, even if the early weeks are rough. If it’s not getting better — or if it’s getting worse — help is available. Reach out sooner rather than later, and know that struggling doesn’t mean failing.
You’re doing harder work than anyone gives you credit for. Really!
Lila.
