Last Updated on January 19, 2026 by Lila Sjöberg
I used to think I was good at sleeping. Then I had kids, and now I lie awake at 2 AM listening for breathing, mentally reviewing tomorrow’s schedule, and wondering if that weird noise was someone about to need me. Even when the kids sleep through, my brain didn’t get the memo.
Key Takeaways
Mom insomnia often isn’t just about kids waking you — it’s your nervous system stuck in hypervigilant mode. Sleep quality matters as much as quantity. The “sleep when baby sleeps” advice is often impossible, but strategic rest helps. Screen time before bed genuinely disrupts sleep.
The Short Answer: Improve mom sleep by optimizing your environment (dark, cool, quiet), establishing a wind-down routine, limiting screens before bed, and addressing mental chatter through brain dumps or breathing exercises. Quality can partially compensate for quantity.
Why Mom Sleep Is Different
Even when babies start sleeping through, many moms can’t. Your nervous system got trained to stay alert, and it doesn’t just switch off. Add the mental load of constant planning, and your brain never fully rests.
Your Sleep Environment Matters
Darkness signals melatonin production. Cool temperatures (65-68°F/18-20°C) promote better sleep. White noise can help mask household sounds. Your mattress and pillows matter, especially postpartum.
The Wind-Down Routine
Aim for 30-60 minutes before bed of lower stimulation — dim lights, stop screens, calming activities like reading or stretching. Our relaxation essentials page has products to help create this ritual.
I’m sharing this video below that helped me a lot (and still does), but this is not for everyone. It’s white noise rain and storm with lightning effects. Place your phone up on the night table, It will light up the celling synced with thunders. It will pause with light and more heavy rain.
Why does it work? Your brain is disconnecting to focus on a noise calling for a let it go with natural elements. Try it and let me know if it worked for you, ok?
Dealing with Racing Thoughts
Brain dump before bed — write down everything on your mind. Keep a notepad by your bed for middle-of-the-night thoughts. Try 4-7-8 breathing (in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8). Body scan meditation helps shift focus from thoughts to physical sensations.
The Screen Problem
Blue light suppresses melatonin, and mental stimulation keeps your brain activated. Set a cutoff time at least 30 minutes before bed. Charge your phone across the room.
Strategic Rest When Sleep Isn’t Possible
Even lying down with eyes closed gives your body rest. Power naps of 10-20 minutes help without leaving you groggy. Our 15-minute self-love guide has more ideas for micro-restoration.
When Partners Can Help
Splitting night duty can be game-changing. Options include alternating nights, dividing the night into shifts, or trading off weekends. Be specific: “I need one night a week where I’m not on call.” And frankly, one night a week is not much to ask if you ask me! 😄
When to Get Help
True insomnia, regularly waking unrefreshed, anxiety preventing sleep, or symptoms of sleep apnea all warrant professional attention. Sleep deprivation isn’t a badge of honor.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to have insomnia even when my kids sleep through?
Yes, very common. Your nervous system needs time and intentional practice to relearn deep sleep.
What about melatonin?
It can help with falling asleep — start with a low dose (0.5-1mg). Not meant for long-term nightly use. See this Melatonin and check with your doctor if nursing.
Rest Is Not a Luxury
Your body, mood, patience, health — everything runs on sleep. Start with one thing from this article. Put your phone across the room. Try the breathing technique. Have a conversation about splitting night duty.
You deserve to feel rested. Sweet dreams, mama! 🥰
Lila.
